no

Change happened in the moment I said “no”
Not anymore. Enough.
Stretched to the ends of this tether,
this face that contorts into pictures conformities,
it’s mine, not yours,
and I’m taking it back.

The shadowy corners of the room reach at my eyes, stiffening this gaze
As if I had some floor to stand on,
False
Yet I know that what loomed before will still be there after I’m gone.
and I just stare light into the void as if one day it were going to wake up

I say it’s not a void, it’s a rabbit hole, and I’m here to feed
on the darkness

a vision slides over me: watching my own hand grab the steering wheel and take me
off the mountain (the air was so thick, I could barely breathe)

I am a picture of petrified and the icicles are forming on my brow
on my cheeks
the breeze is so cold
time is stuck
and I can’t leave.

There are raindrops pattering in a puddle in the middle of the room,

I can see my reflection.


-Benjamin

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The Wisdom of the Blue

Lapping loosely around the shore line

Whispers of ancient mistakes and lost grandeur carried by the current

The belly of the whale that speaks to our soul

Drawing us further into waking sleep

Into the wisdom of the blue


-Benjamin

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Image by TheOther Kev

Shadow (ii)

The night drags over me
Counting affirmations
For fuel

Dreary tones of solemn doubt creep into my ears, drumming my heart

I can see the monster in the mirror
And I needn’t look to see
It is you
It is I
We are the death and the majesty
The silky pain that rides across my skin
The red rhythm in my lungs
And the icy stare that makes it all go away

You give me life, and I give you sight
Together we dance, in breathe
and In stillness


-Benjamin

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Desert Sands

Nothing behind the blue stains
of the months alone on that island
far from ships’ music

A pound of flesh for an ounce of bone
and a heart that breathes again

the wolves run free in the park again
explosive collars
leashed by themselves to a mothers word

An open stroll through the vacance reveals the emptiness of the promises
And yet the fullness of the wind and birds and the trees

Living inside an hourglass that turns for no-one and yet turns nonetheless

We are the desert sands that flow seamlessly to the peak of this horizon


-Ben

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Vacant (eyes)

Nothing behind the eyes
The big blue
Elephant in the room

Your beauty sways like a plant in the gentle breeze
Your elegance and grace under the red light
Your gaze on me
And yet and I can’t feel love behind the eyes of the beholder

Your ginger locks are like a golden frame around your seduction
Your perfectly carved expression, made for this day, this evening

When did the grey descend in a cloud upon a room where so few weren’t dancing

You move for intimacy but that’s not what you’re looking for
You want something more
Physical

I want to give you that pleasure
An ecstasy away from noise
We’d bring the chaos with us where we would turn it into laughter and steam
And yet my heart turns in my chest
I stand and walk to my sleep

I live in a room full of people with no breath left to keep our hearts beating


-Ben

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Image by Carry Jin